May 2010
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“gossip is news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress”
– liz smith
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“the way to get a man interested and to hold his interest was to talk about him,...”
– magaret mitchell
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note to self #08:
stop dancing in the elevator
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“Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to...”
– Jean Kerr
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note to self #07:
get an eye-candy, please. talldarkhandsome-ish, preferably
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“Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.”
– Erica Jong
“If no one knows you, then you are no one.”
– Dan Chaon
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Dear abah
21st May 2010
Syed Alwi b Syed Abdullah Al-Yahya
Blk 854
Tampines St 82
#07-237
Room 3
Dear Abah,
You’re my dad, and I don’t like being rude to you. I really don’t. It makes me feel super bad; I could feel all those bad karma surrounding me whenever I roll my eyes or think of profanities in this evil brain of mine. But you’re not exactly helping me to avoid being rude, are you? I know and...
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note to self #06:
i look better in the dark
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note to self #05:
eliminate “ifs”
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“The only gossip I’m interested in is things from the Weekly World News -...”
– johnny depp
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Dear dog owners,
18th May 2010
Residential Dog Owners
Tampines Central Park
Avenue 2
Gravel Pavement 004501
Dear dog owners,
Though I am unable to express a strong likeness towards any of your tiny whinny dogs (big ones are pretty cool e.g. golden retriever/siberian husky), I do respect that you owners love those tiny creatures with all your heart (yes, I saw some of y’all doing funny faces at ‘em but hey, I’m not...
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Dear Comfort
17th May 2010
ComfortDelgro Corporation Limited
205 Braddell Road
Singapore 579701
Dear Comfort,
I would like to express my most sincere gratitude to y’all. Really, those little blue thang on the road is rather pleasing to the eye. Singapore roads will look rather “naked” without your presence, if you know what I mean.
In a way, you save people’s life. Just like a doctor, eh? You see, you...
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note to self #04:
keep closet clean.
at least for a week, yes?
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Dear NUS
15 May 2010
National University of Singapore
Office of Admissions
University Hall, Tan Chin Tuan Wing
Level Lower Ground
21, Lower Kent Ridge Road
Singapore 119077
Dear NUS,
By the time I received your letter I was too gloomy to be bitter. I, too, regret that my application has not been successful. I, too, regret that I haven’t been given a chance for an interview or something like that. But it...
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note to self #03:
stop dwelling. stop being pathetic.
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Dear NTU
14 May 2010
Nanyang Technological University
Student Services Centre
42 Nanyang Avenue
Singapore 639815
Dear NTU,
Oh well, its sucha a bummer that I receive your letter. Really. I doubt you meant it when you express your gratitude that I applied to your university. I bet in your head (if you have, that is) you’ll be like “Why do these dimwits kept applying to us? Are they delusional?!” Just so...
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note to self #02:
never, ever, wake up so early. it means getting hungry sooner.
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note to self #01:
keep evil plans safely in mr brain
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sometimes i hate you
the feeling so raw
i feel like smashing your face in the frying pan
or push you out of the window
and watching you fall
i know it isnt right
but the things you do and say
its so asking for it, ya know
not all the times, of course
just sometimes
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“I’m gonna treat you so nice, you’re never gonna let me go.”
– Pretty Women
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